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getithere2014-11-03 12:02 pm
momentsgoneby.livejournal.com) wrote in getithere2014-11-03 12:02 pm
A True Queer Love (TQL) update
Hi everyone!
This post has been long time coming. Whenever I’ve attempted to gather my thoughts and get something down in writing I get stuck in the balancing act of being open with you all and - as a very private person, with great reason – remain a comfortable level of privacy. As much as this post is not about me or my life, it has everything to do with it at the same time.
I have over the last year received a few questions about TQL; is it offline, what’s happened and is it permanent? I have answered the few that have asked me directly and known that I should make a post about it, but the words and the energy have been lacking.
So, let’s start out simple by stating that yes, TQL is offline.
The why is a bit harder to explain, but bear with me?
It started when I discovered that the site had been hacked. It was nothing major and would be easy to fix, but as time didn’t allow me to do it right away, I chose to put the site in offline mode until I had a chance to correct the malicious code. I did this both to protect the members and other readers, but also to keep more malicious code from being inserted through the current crack.
Here is where it all starts getting complicated.
With a rich life with children and partners (both romantic and business) I only had so many hours free in a day. When it was first decided that we were going to move TQL to a new server and dedicate an archive for our stories, rather than them being posted in posts on a message board, there were five of us, each with an assigned role to play, to develop and maintain the site. For various reasons people left and I was left to shoulder all the tasks on my own. I asked for help a few times and there have been others interested in helping out, but one after one they have disappeared, either because of unforeseen demands in “real life” or simply by fading away when they realized what such a role really entails. I did what I could to keep the site current and pleasant for people to use.
By the time I found that we had been hacked and there was malicious code inserted into the code, my life was at an all time high level of stress and anxiety. My mother in law was fighting cancer for the third time and though only a country away, it put great demands on us as a family. We all wanted to do our most to be there for her while fulfilling our other responsibilities. My own mom had been showing more and more signs of illness and combined with a stalker and an upcoming trial, TQL was what had to give for me to manage my days. I felt bad about it then and I still do.
Christmas came and both mothers were getting worse.
Then my brother’s two dogs had to be put to sleep, both in same day and both so greatly loved by me and my children. We soldiered on through a trial and thought that maybe, just maybe things would start get better. It didn’t. My mother-in-law passed away, leaving a husband of over fifty years, a partly paralyzed husband after suffering a stroke a few years earlier, and a brother in law behind. And us, still a country away. My partner had to leave for a tour and we all shared our time between home, tour and my father-in-laws. Then the next blow came. My mother had steadily became worse, but it was still hard when the diagnose front temporal dementia came. If you know nothing about this form of dementia I can sum it up as one of the nastiest forms there is. There’s no cure, no medicine to halt the progress and way too little research going on and my mother needs almost constant minding.
Then my father got pneumonia and got hospitalized. We live in a country with great health care, but my father’s treatment was still far from simple. Due to a previous severe injury my father was resistant to most drugs used when treating pneumonia and while they struggled to find a working solution my father’s life hung in the balance. He made it and is now back, good as… well, good as a man his age.
That leaves us about a month short of present day. I’ve struggled both to regain my sense of footing in life, but also with finding the words.
So for the last question “Is it permanent?”, I can only answer “I don’t know. It depends and I would like your input here before I decide anything.
To simply open up TQL right now, in current situation, won’t happen. It would be irresponsibly of me when I know I don’t have the time or energy to maintain and develop it on my own.
There are a few options available as I see it:
1. I, and you, hope that one day I will have the time and energy to put up TQL again in all its glory.
2. I, when time given, clean the files and downgrade TQL to be an archive only.
Gone will be the forum, the games, the gigant photo archive of all things QaF and its actors and the video clips. All things I’ve worked real hard creating.
3. I get help.
I clean the files and get things back online, as soon as life allows it, and you readers and potential users of TQL have the chance to volunteer to help out. For this to ever be a real option anyone that volunteers has to stand by their word. I won’t take on anyone that can’t back up their mouth. There is no power or glory in being an admin.
4. I, when given time, upload story by story to LiveJournal were there will be no server costs, no maintenance, other than what I feel I have time for, needed.
5. I, and you, say goodbye to TQL.
I will remain in the fandom and will be free to pursue other projects and adventures as time allows me.
TQL’s being or non being has never been about me, my ego or even about money.
Money and donations will not change anything. Only time and people’s generosity with their own time can help. I am very interested in hearing your thoughts and/or ideas. I only ask of you to help keep this thread civil. I will read all responses and get back where needed and as time allows. I will however not answer any private questions. This was my one and only attempt at being open and laying all the cards on the table. You are free to ask, but I will not answer unless I know you (and not of you). If I do, I will answer in a private message.
As it is, I will take my joy where I can find it. As time permits you might see more of me as I post snippets/ficlet-y little pieces that’s been hidden away on my computer that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
galeandrandy thinks I should share. That and banners, so they are collected somewhere, as my own private site is down as well as it shared server with TQL. Please allow me to spend my spare time in whatever way brings me joy, just as I do you.
If you have read all this; thank you!
/Nickie a.k.a. MomentsGoneBy
Posted with Admin Permission
This post has been long time coming. Whenever I’ve attempted to gather my thoughts and get something down in writing I get stuck in the balancing act of being open with you all and - as a very private person, with great reason – remain a comfortable level of privacy. As much as this post is not about me or my life, it has everything to do with it at the same time.
I have over the last year received a few questions about TQL; is it offline, what’s happened and is it permanent? I have answered the few that have asked me directly and known that I should make a post about it, but the words and the energy have been lacking.
So, let’s start out simple by stating that yes, TQL is offline.
The why is a bit harder to explain, but bear with me?
It started when I discovered that the site had been hacked. It was nothing major and would be easy to fix, but as time didn’t allow me to do it right away, I chose to put the site in offline mode until I had a chance to correct the malicious code. I did this both to protect the members and other readers, but also to keep more malicious code from being inserted through the current crack.
Here is where it all starts getting complicated.
With a rich life with children and partners (both romantic and business) I only had so many hours free in a day. When it was first decided that we were going to move TQL to a new server and dedicate an archive for our stories, rather than them being posted in posts on a message board, there were five of us, each with an assigned role to play, to develop and maintain the site. For various reasons people left and I was left to shoulder all the tasks on my own. I asked for help a few times and there have been others interested in helping out, but one after one they have disappeared, either because of unforeseen demands in “real life” or simply by fading away when they realized what such a role really entails. I did what I could to keep the site current and pleasant for people to use.
By the time I found that we had been hacked and there was malicious code inserted into the code, my life was at an all time high level of stress and anxiety. My mother in law was fighting cancer for the third time and though only a country away, it put great demands on us as a family. We all wanted to do our most to be there for her while fulfilling our other responsibilities. My own mom had been showing more and more signs of illness and combined with a stalker and an upcoming trial, TQL was what had to give for me to manage my days. I felt bad about it then and I still do.
Christmas came and both mothers were getting worse.
Then my brother’s two dogs had to be put to sleep, both in same day and both so greatly loved by me and my children. We soldiered on through a trial and thought that maybe, just maybe things would start get better. It didn’t. My mother-in-law passed away, leaving a husband of over fifty years, a partly paralyzed husband after suffering a stroke a few years earlier, and a brother in law behind. And us, still a country away. My partner had to leave for a tour and we all shared our time between home, tour and my father-in-laws. Then the next blow came. My mother had steadily became worse, but it was still hard when the diagnose front temporal dementia came. If you know nothing about this form of dementia I can sum it up as one of the nastiest forms there is. There’s no cure, no medicine to halt the progress and way too little research going on and my mother needs almost constant minding.
Then my father got pneumonia and got hospitalized. We live in a country with great health care, but my father’s treatment was still far from simple. Due to a previous severe injury my father was resistant to most drugs used when treating pneumonia and while they struggled to find a working solution my father’s life hung in the balance. He made it and is now back, good as… well, good as a man his age.
That leaves us about a month short of present day. I’ve struggled both to regain my sense of footing in life, but also with finding the words.
So for the last question “Is it permanent?”, I can only answer “I don’t know. It depends and I would like your input here before I decide anything.
To simply open up TQL right now, in current situation, won’t happen. It would be irresponsibly of me when I know I don’t have the time or energy to maintain and develop it on my own.
There are a few options available as I see it:
1. I, and you, hope that one day I will have the time and energy to put up TQL again in all its glory.
2. I, when time given, clean the files and downgrade TQL to be an archive only.
Gone will be the forum, the games, the gigant photo archive of all things QaF and its actors and the video clips. All things I’ve worked real hard creating.
3. I get help.
I clean the files and get things back online, as soon as life allows it, and you readers and potential users of TQL have the chance to volunteer to help out. For this to ever be a real option anyone that volunteers has to stand by their word. I won’t take on anyone that can’t back up their mouth. There is no power or glory in being an admin.
4. I, when given time, upload story by story to LiveJournal were there will be no server costs, no maintenance, other than what I feel I have time for, needed.
5. I, and you, say goodbye to TQL.
I will remain in the fandom and will be free to pursue other projects and adventures as time allows me.
TQL’s being or non being has never been about me, my ego or even about money.
Money and donations will not change anything. Only time and people’s generosity with their own time can help. I am very interested in hearing your thoughts and/or ideas. I only ask of you to help keep this thread civil. I will read all responses and get back where needed and as time allows. I will however not answer any private questions. This was my one and only attempt at being open and laying all the cards on the table. You are free to ask, but I will not answer unless I know you (and not of you). If I do, I will answer in a private message.
As it is, I will take my joy where I can find it. As time permits you might see more of me as I post snippets/ficlet-y little pieces that’s been hidden away on my computer that
galeandrandy thinks I should share. That and banners, so they are collected somewhere, as my own private site is down as well as it shared server with TQL. Please allow me to spend my spare time in whatever way brings me joy, just as I do you. If you have read all this; thank you!
/Nickie a.k.a. MomentsGoneBy
Posted with Admin Permission
no subject
I was sorry to hear that you are getting through tough times. Things tend to come in waves. I hope in time it gets easier and wish you luck.
I would like to thank you for your work until now, your site provided me with endless hours of fan fun. I hope you still stay in the fandom, this time without pressure, just for fun!
no subject
I'm happy that TQL have brought you lots of joy. Hopefully it will again. I haven't decided on anything so far. I'm not gonna rush it.
I will definitely stay in the fandom. You'll find me somewhere in the background as always as time and energy will permit me.