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lit-writergirl.livejournal.com posting in

Hi Everyone,

I'm looking for a fic and the only part I remember is when Justin shows up at Brian's and Brian is saying goodbye to some guy in the street. Justin sees, gets upset, and starts to run away, but Brian catches up to him. I think it's raining, and the scene is told from the POV of the third guy...can't remember his name but I think he knows the whole Brian/Justin story and thinks they should be together. Is this ringing any bells for anyone?

ETA:

alicesprings has found it, and I am a dork. Link inside. :-)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_alicesprings/

http://queerasfolk.wired-hub.net/erin/kane_01.html

From:

lit-writergirl.livejournal.com

That's really similar, but I don't think that one is it. In the one I'm thinking of, Justin sees Brian with this guy outside the loft. I think Justin actually throws up, as weird as it sounds...

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_alicesprings/

He does see Brian outside the loft with a guy, and throw up in this one. But if it's not the one, it's not the one.

From:

http://users.livejournal.com/_alicesprings/

Justin

Who the fuck is that? Oh my god, he’s with Brian. He’s touching Brian. I bet they just fucked. Fuck me. He isn’t ever going to change. He’s always going to be…fuck! Just what he is. It’s all he can ever be. I think I changed him? I’m such an idiot. I think he loved me? How could I be so stupid? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh god, I’m going to be sick.

The rain starts to come now. It’s soft at first, but grows stronger by the second. They start to walk away from the building toward Brian’s jeep and I lean against the wall I wasn’t even aware was behind me.

I look up long enough to see them lock lips. That’s it. I lose it. I can’t take this anymore. What he does to me, what he does to my heart, it’s unbearable. I double over and clutch my stomach as the bile surges inside of me.

The rain is swirling all around me when I start to vomit. The rain and puke mix on my face and on the ground and I can’t tell which warm fluid is which. I’m just sort of glad the rain is there to fill my ears and eyes and wash away this evidence. To wash away the proof of the affect he has on me.

When I can catch my breath I stand up and clutch my gut. Clutch my heart. I don’t know which hurts worse at the moment. I turn to run away. Run fast and far in the exact opposite direction of Brian Kinney. I have no idea what the fuck I was thinking. No idea what I thought I was doing here. Then I hear him…

Brian

After I say it, I push Kane off a bit and kind of shrug. I’ve offended him so many times tonight I suppose there is no reason to stop now and no need to offer an explanation. He looks at me again with that knowing smirk. The one that makes me tingle in a not-so-nice way. I clench my jaw at him as I shake the keys that I’ve been gripping too tightly in my palm.

“Come on,” I nod toward where I’m parked as the rain starts to fall, kissing my face and moistening my shirt. I look up to see what I can see in the dark, brooding clouds and as my eyes fall back to earth I catch sight of him. At first I’m sure I’m delusional, but it only takes a quick gaze at Kane, staring at him in the same way I am, to let me know he is no mirage.

Justin is across the street, doubled over. Looks like he’s sick. What is he doing? Why is here? Why is he sick? What’s wrong with him? Oh my god, did he see me with…

Fuck.

“Justin!”