getithere | Mask & Unbearable by jans

Personally, I'm against hiding fanfic away even in f-locked journals. Yes, I have a separate fanfic journal that I do not associate with my this journal because I don't want someone to hold the fact I may have an opinion that vastly differs from their own against my work. I've seen people that avoid writers/fanfic because they had a disagreement with them. They may have had different views on window furnishings. I feel that when you shut people out or pick and chose who can read your works you are losing out. If you only receive comments that are positive when there could be problems with your story does that help you better yourself as a writer? Especially when your readers are scared they will be kicked out forever if they dare make a comment that isn't 100% praiseworthy? I understand that some people are just wanting to avoid flames in general but again when you make your audience afraid to be honest with you...I think you lose a lot more in the end. No one said you had to keep the flames...you could always screen the comments and leave those out. *shrugs

While I agree with some of this, I have to tell you that sometimes flames and attacks get so bad, you f-lock your story and journal because you get just so tired and sick of all this shit, and writing should be fun (especially if it's done without any monetary gain), and not dealing with those things.
I admit that I'm one of those who f-locked their journal because of that. And yes, maybe I'm missing out on readers. I haven't kicked anyone from my f-list for giving honest, constructive feedback. And not even if our opinions differ. But I expect a certain amount of courtesy when discussing things and to ensure that, I locked my journal and haven't regretted it yet. Everyone who wants to join, is welcome. :)
Oh - and to make that perfectly clear, the flames I received were never about my fanfic. Unfortunately they were on a more pesonal level and were along the lines of "you dirty fag" or "you gay asshole" - so, really, this is my journal and I'm not taking stuff like in a lj that I wouldn't take in RL either.

Edited 2011-05-20 11:17 (UTC)

Trust me, I completely understand the desire. It's because of wank that started many many years ago because I disagreed with BNF in another fandom when one decided to tear apart a new writer because she wrote a piece in a crack!fic verse that apparently didn't fit into their "code" and I informed them that what they did was inappropriate.

I was blacklisted in that fandom, banned from many communities, anytime my writing was posted I got misc hateful comments that had nothing to do with my work. I eventually posted from another journal I had and suddenly I was "the most awesomest person evar!" =/ So I kept it separate and there's nothing personal there. It's all public and yes, there's times I still get flames especially on older pieces that even I'm scared to read now because I know now that I can do better...but I'm not going to remove those old pieces either. Maybe I can deal better with the flames there because they don't actually know me only my writing. *shrugs* I've seen my share of nasty comments there but maybe it's harder for those that "open" themselves to their readers by not only giving them glimpses of their work, but their personal lives so they take it harder when people say negative things.

However, if I'm understanding your comment right, you aren't dissuading people from adding you, reading your fic, and maybe possibly eventually coming to you with something that bothers them. Personally, I don't know anything you've done. I think my issue with f-locked fanfic journals is when the writer picks and chooses their readers based on feedback. There's so many that won't take anything that isn't 100% positive and will pick and chose their readers by those that offer only praise and those that dare to say anything else...well out they go...regardless of how it's stated.

I have no problem with criticism as long as it's related to the writing. Or any kind of discussion as long as people don't throw around insults or something like that. In all the time I've had my lj I have defriended - I think - three or four people, two of them because it turned out they were liars and hurt a lot of people through it. Can't really remember the other two - if there were any. I always try to encourage honest criticism and I'm glad to get it. We all learn from our mistakes, and only improve as authors through it.
See - I wouldn't even mind flames were they just related to the fics or original stories I write. I get that Brian/other isn't everybody's taste, so yeah, people have told me "no, I can't read a story like that" - and that's okay. However, when people get downright insulting on a personal level, when you get hate mail and things like that, I think it's way off and I'm just too tried to deal with this in lj, too.

I stopped in just now because I saw so many comments on this post and my first thought was "oh please god, not again", but this convo is really good.

Unfortunately they were on a more personal level and were along the lines of "you dirty fag" or "you gay asshole"

Good lord, someone actually said that to you? O.o

Oh yeah, they did. And that were the more tame things sent my way. :(

*hugs*

I know that we're all pretty passionate people, and our feelings get the best of us, and the easiest thing to do is to revert to name-calling. I've been called a bitch so much that I just laid claim to it and say "yeah I am", you know? But there are lines and limits, and unfortunately, people cross them. All I know is, if someone called my daughter a fucking dyke, whether or not she uses the term herself, I'd be out kicking ass.

The interesting thing is, I grew up with black people calling each other the N word as a term or endearment or a way of greeting. It was pretty much reclaiming a word that was used negatively towards them. Same as I hear gay men use the F word. But then, we get pissed when someone else calls us that, someone that's "other". What I did was drop the N word from my vernacular when I was a teen, and I don't use it, don't like it, don't want it used around me. I would assume you feel the same.

I stopped in just now because I saw so many comments on this post and my first thought was "oh please god, not again", but this convo is really good.

Sorry for the scare, I may be opinionated but I try hard to talk reasonably with others. (As noted below when I said that

josieb1 and I had to agree to disagree.) Though I'll admit that if someone chooses to rant, rave, and cuss about me that I can't always stop myself from ranting, raving, and cussing right back at them. Just because they erase any instances of them behaving poorly doesn't mean it did not happen and they can pretend that they never did anything in the wrong...however, as I explained to Connor in an e-mail you never know who is screencapping...

Edited because I can't type.

Edited 2011-05-22 19:17 (UTC)

Oh, no, I was just happy that the conversation was civil! lol

We're all of us opinionated to a certain degree. We can get heated when we feel we're being misunderstood. But as long as everyone is being respectful, I'm good with it.

Trust me, I never used to screencap anything, but I've learned that sometimes it can cave your ass. lol

Mask & Unbearable by jans_intentions

Re: not starting wank just asking real questions.

Re: not starting wank just asking real questions.

Re: not starting wank just asking real questions.

Re: not starting wank just asking real questions.

Re: not starting wank just asking real questions.

Re: not starting wank just asking real questions.

Re: not starting wank just asking real questions.

Re: not starting wank just asking real questions.